In which I just say no

"No" is not a word that I like to say very often. I feel that it is a closer of doors, a narrower of minds, and a killer of ideas. I'm much more of a yes man, to borrow Danny Wallace's popular coinage. Throughout my adult life I have made a conscious effort to try as many new things and be involved in as many new experiences as I possibly can.

So it was as much of a surprise to me as it was to anybody else when I found myself turning down offers on Saturday night that, at any other time in my life up until now, I would have snapped up. Hungrily, eagerly and greedily.

"Do you party?" One man asked me in the club. He was of course not inquiring as to whether I like a drink and a dance. He wanted to know whether I partake in ecstasy. I don't, although a dalliance with cocaine was one of the more colourful highlights of my lost year at university.

"Sure!" I would have said, on any night before this one. "How else to make a balanced decision about the dangers of drugs?"

I believe my actual response was a mumbled, "No, thanks", and a shimmy in the opposite direction.

In another bar, me and Al made some new friends in Lou and Rachael, a lesbian couple. We were chatting away when Lou cut in:

"Do you like Charlie?"

What is this? I thought. I felt the urge to look for hidden cameras.

"I'm aware of his work," I said, "but I'm not a huge fan." She seemed disappointed.

Later, Al and I were dancing. A large portion of the night had been spent jiving to some of our favourite songs, but by now the music had evolved into that 3am flow of senseless base. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, a guy watching us. He was tall, and as he danced his way over I could see that he was quite handsome. Al and I carried on as if we hadn't noticed, but we both knew what he was doing. He was looking at Al, then me, then back to Al, and so on. He was weighing us up like pieces of meat. And he evidently made his choice, because I felt a strong arm around my waist.

"No chance, wanker," I said loudly, dipping out of his grasp and pulling Al towards the bar. "What a guido, right?"

Al looked at me, then back to our new friend, who was still standing on the dancefloor, and still watching us. There was no denying it. He was very hot.

"Go." Al said.

"No," I said, for the third time that evening. "Bros over hoes, remember?" *

In the past, I would have chased any dragon that promised to keep the party going. I would have fallen into bed with just about any man who showed the slightest bit of interest. And I would have ditched friends to do so. I'm starting to think I'm growing as a person - but don't tell anyone. It might just be a phase.

J. x

* I am obviously kidding. I totally slept with him.